The MAID Team
by shanejayell
Summary: When Garcia is kidnapped, it's the Lovelace maids to the rescue!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from Black Lagoon, they all belong to Rei Hiroe. This story is NOT CANON and contains mild spoilers for the seventh manga.

The MAID Team

Ever since Roberta had first come to the Lovelace family years ago, she had tried her best to put aside her warlike past. Still, years as a FARC had left her with a... sense, when things were going to go wrong, and as she watched the junior maid hurrying towards where she and the other house maids were waiting she knew they were in deep trouble.

Her maid's uniform stained with dust and sweat Tavia stumbled to a stop by their car as the brown haired woman declared, "The young master has been kidnapped!"

"What!?" Masica declared, the somewhat more bosomy black haired maid cried, grabbing the smaller woman by the shoulders. "What happened?"

Tavia's short hair fell across her anguished face as the maid declared, "We were shopping in the market when we were separated. I was buying groceries when I turned and saw a tall man spiriting him away from me!"

"Where were they headed?" Roberta demanded, the tall, black haired maid already gearing herself up for battle. "What did he look like?" she asked flatly. She had rescued the young master once, she knew she could do it again.

With a surprising degree of accuracy Tavia described the kidnapper as she added, "They were heading westward when I lost them in the crowd."

"The air field is in that direction," Fabiola realized, the shorter black haired maid looking alarmed. If master Garcia was taken on a plane, it would be far more difficult to catch up with him....

"Head back to the house," Roberta ordered, hurrying to the waiting jeep's driver's seat, but to her surprise Karin had already taken the seat, starting the engine.

"Let's go," Karin said, her reddish brown hair falling into her eyes.

"Get out of the car," Roberta ordered even as Fabiolas and the others began to get in.

"We have a responsibility to the young master too," Fabiola told her firmly, "and the longer we stand here arguing, the colder the trail gets."

Roberta didn't hesitate, grabbing the shotgun seat even as she nodded grimly, "Go." She knew she could have forced the girl's out, but Fabiola was right, it would take too long. She would just have to hope she could protect the maids while chasing the young master's kidnapper.

They ran through town then got out at the market, scattering as they asked around about Garcia. Within minutes Masica managed to get them a lead, the group racing back to the jeep then hurrying off once more out of town.

"How did you...?" Karin asked, expertly handling the jeep over the rough road.

Masica smirked as she gestured to her maid's uniform with the top unbuttoned over her breasts. "These tend to get answers from men," she noted mildly.

"Heh," Roberta smiled slightly even as the jeep raced down the road, the potholes making their teeth rattle. Karin really was a surprisingly good driver, weaving through the rough path and even dodging the occasional person with ease.

"What will we do when we catch them?" Fabiola asked Roberta softly, the shorter girl looking up at her excitedly.

"We will politely ask for them to give him back," Roberta answered. She smiled grimly, "And if that doesn't work, we will have to be... firm."

"Roadblock!" Karin yelled as she reluctantly slowed down, the police and army officers having put a barricade across the road and several men standing around warily.

"Why...?" Tavia wondered.

"May not even involve us," Roberta admitted, knowing that the government was still fighting both drug smuggling and anti-authority guerrillas. Still, she tensed as she swiftly took in the guards manning the roadblock. With the weapons she always carried she could take them all out, but it would be very messy. Worse, they might be able to sound an alarm....

"Head matron," Fabiola said to her quietly as she rested a hand on her arm, "please let Masica handle this." Roberta gave her a questioning look and Fabiola smiled reassuringly, "I have seen her at work, it will be fine."

Roberta watched in surprise as Masica nearly fell out of the jeep when they stopped, her breasts nearly spilling from her unbuttoned uniform. The army dog didn't know where to look, blushing as he helped steady her.

"Oh, thank the Virgin we found you," Masica declared dramatically as the men gathered around her, "we were so lost!" Within a minute or so she had them eating out of her hand, and in not much longer they were on their way once more.

"Well done," Roberta had to concede as they drove on, only speeding up once they were out of sight of the cops. It had taken longer than she had wanted, but if she had used force she was certain they'd have been chased by the army or worse, prevented from saving Garcia.

Masica smiled back shyly, "Thank you." She grinned as she added, "According to the guard trying to pick me up, a man and a boy bribed their way past not long ago. The description sounded like the man and our young master."

Karin thumped the wheel eagerly with a fist as she said, "Oh, good going! We must be catching up to them!"

"Floor it!" Tavia agreed as they bounced along the rough road leading to the airfield.

Bouncing from a pothole they emerged from the trees into a clearing, taking in the rural airfield. Like many of it's type it was mostly deserted, a few roughly built hangers over to one side, a single runway and several planes sitting out in the sun. The maids swept the grounds eagerly, looking for any trace of their master.

"There!" Karin pointed, her other hand sure on the wheel as she turned their jeep towards a plane taxing to take off.

The man who had snatched the young master from the market had a almost smug look on his face as he piloted the plane away from them. Roberta felt her blood go cold as she saw Garcia in the passenger seat, looking out at the maids with wide eyes.

"No!" Roberta growled as it lifted off, carrying their master god knew where. 'I could try to shoot it,' she thought bleakly, 'but he could be hurt....'

"Park the car!" Tavia yelled as she bodily leapt from the jeep nearby another plane that was just starting it's engines. She rolled to a stop then got up, running over to the plane, yanking the door open and grabbing at the stunned pilot.

"What are you?!" the older man blurted.

The click of a gun froze him as Fabiola peered over Tavia's shoulder at him, her expression calm as she ordered, "Get out, now."

Tavia turned as the rest of the maids hurried over, "Let's go." As several maids protested she added, "I can fly! My father taught me. Now let's go!"

There was a moment of dead silence as they weighed the risks of taking off with a rusty, half-trained pilot versus letting the pilots go, then almost as one the group of women crammed themselves into the small plane.

"This was not intended for this many people," Roberta murmured as they took off, all five of them barely fitting into the confined space.

"I'm not complaining," Karin murmured as she felt Masica's full breasts pushing up against her side.

Masica gave Karin a thoughtful look as the other maid blushed faintly, "Well, well...."

"Could you two do this later?" Fabiola asked wryly.

"There he is!" Tavia yelled as they caught up with the other plane.

Roberta felt a familiar, feral smile tugging at her lips as they finally came up alongside the other plane. The pilot had a rather dumbfounded look on his face as if he could not believe that they had chased them all this way. Garcia also has a odd look on his face, a mix of pride, embarrassment and a fair bit of trepidation too. He turned from them and looked at the pilot, nodding once.

"What is he...?" Tavia wondered as the pilot pulled a lever.

"Look out!" Roberta yelled as a pop of smoke came from the rear of the plane and something came free.

The cloth smoothly unrolled from a compartment in the rear of the other plane, the wind catching it as it stretche4d out to it's full length. In just a few moments it was fully extended, but the words took a moment to register with the maids: Happy Birthday, Roberta!

"EH??!!" everyone in the plane yelped.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"I'm really, really sorry about all of this," Garcia told them sheepishly after his pilot dropped him off then took off again, hauling the banner across the sky.

Fabiola shook her head wryly as she asked, "I guess you wanted to surprise Roberta?"

"Yes," Garcia admitted, "I thought I could just slip off for a few hours, come back and no one would be the wiser."

Roberta sighed, pushing up her round glasses tiredly. "Young master," she told him patiently, "you've been kidnapped before and it's something we all dread happening again. Just slipping off is really not a option."

"Yes," Garcia conceded quietly.

Roberta looked back up as a smile teased her lips, "Still, it's a very nice banner."

Garcia smiled back, "Yes it is."

AS they watched the show Garcia found himself looking at the maids, watching the five of them interact. While in the past there had been a high wall of reserve between Roberta and the other maids, they now seemed much more relaxed as they offered their senior maid birthday wishes. Roberta still held herself apart from them a little, but at least it seemed she valued their talents and abilities.

'This wasn't what I intended, but it's turned out well,' Garcia thought. He smiled as he murmured, "I love it when a plan comes together."

End

Notes: In Black Lagoon volume seven, Fabiola tells Revy the names of the other maids at the Lovelace manor, but claims they are all ordinary maids. Then again, that's coming from a girl who carries twin sub-machine guns, a sawed off shotgun and has knives in her boots so one wonders how she defines 'ordinary.' Since we don't know anything about the maids I modeled them on the A-Team, with a pilot, con-man, driver etc etc. Let me know what you think!


	2. The Maid Team Returns!

The MAID Team Returns!

**Warning: This story has some spoilers for Black Lagoon manga number eight on. If you do NOT want spoilers for that story, do NOT read on. Also, some wild speculation on my part as to the end of the latest Roberta story lines.**

It was evening at the Yellow Flag, the bar crowded and pulsing with life as men and women talked, yelled, gambled and drank at the tables and along the bar. The place was what some would call a den of villainy, but to the gunfighters, killers and dealers of Roanapur, it was home sweet home.

Revy leaned against the bar, the slim Asian woman drinking rum from a thick glass in front of her, casually tossing back the booze. Her brown hair fell into her eyes as she casually drank, her muscles revealed by the tank top she wore. She was smiling faintly as she watched the crowds, feeling mellow from a good buzz.

Lotten, Shenhua and Sawyer were sitting at a table, talking and drinking. Revy still found it odd that these three had formed a sort of team, but somehow the three fit. Both Sawyer and Shenhua were some of the more dangerous people in town, with Lotten buffering the two as well as being their... concience? Or maybe just their plaything, Revy wasn't sure which.

Eda was drinking and talking loud, the blonde nun laughing loudly as she flirted with some poor fool. He had no idea what he was getting into, and Revy wasn't going to tell him. Besides, it was more amusing to watch it all fall out.

"Hey, Revy," Bao nodded, the former soldier wiping down the bar with a rag as he walked along the bar. The owner and main bartender of the Yellow Flag he was a fixture in the town, someone everyone knew and more or less trusted. They wouldn't tell him secrets, of course, but they trusted him not to water the beer or let ambushes go down in his bar. He was even considered honorable, at least by the standards of this town.

"Bao," Revy grinned as she took another drink, "been quiet lately. No crazed maids, gunfights or explosions for months...."

"Don't bring that up," Bao quickly shushed her as he added, "you'll break my lucky streak."

"With your luck, another killer maid will come," Revy said, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

Nearly a full year ago, the head maid of the Lovelace family had come to Roanapur looking for the assassins of her beloved master, Diego. Chasing a covert unit of the United States Army Roberta had declared war upon them, driven nearly mad by the drugs she had used to sustain herself in the chase. To say the least, it had not ended well.

"We had enough trouble with just Roberta and Fabiola," Bao said with a grimace, remembering how both maids had wrecked his bar at different times, "if I never see another woman in a maid outfit, it'll be too soon."

"Amen to that," Revy agreed, taking another drink.

Bao paused, looking over at the calendar hanging up on the wall. His eyes widened a bit, then he looked up at the clock at the back of the bar as he murmured, "I'll be damned."

"What?" Revy looked curious, wondering what the hell was wrong with him

"If I'm right," Bao murmured, still with that rather odd look on his face, "it's been exactly one year since we last saw those crazy maids."

Revy blinked, then she laughed a little unconvincingly. "Any you think that means something?" she challenged him.

There was a whooshing sound from off in the distance and Eda stiffened from her attempt to seduce the unsuspecting man. "Rocket launcher!" she yelped as she dived under a nearby table and sending everyone else scrambling for cover.

"Oh shit!" Revy cursed as she dove behind the bar, knocking Bao over as the outer wall of the bar exploded inwards.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Bao roared from where he lay on his back. "Again! Again some crazy bastard has blown up my bar!"

Two more rockets were launched in quick succession, widening the gap till the front of the bar was wide open to the street. The customers, well practiced in the art of self preservation, were already running from fallen table to table, making their way out of the bar and out of the line of fire.

"Did you piss anyone off lately?" Revy asked Bao calmly as she finished her drink then chucked the glass sideways.

"Are you joking?" Bao demanded. He sat back with a sigh and grumbled, "This has got to be your fault somehow."

"I didn't do anything," Revy scowled as she drew one of her guns from the shoulder holster.

"Ahem," a voice came booming in from outside, "is this thing on?"

Both Revy and Bao looked at each other in dismay, recognizing the sweet voice from early encounters. "Fabiola?!" both yelped as they peeked over the bar to see what was happening.

Out on the street a jeep was packed, five people in and around it. Sitting in the shotgun seat Garcia Loveless looked rather sheepish as he gave them a apologetic gaze. Fabiola stood in front, holding a large megaphone, a reddish brown haired woman sat in the driver's seat, a rather bosomy black haired maid held the still smoking rocket launcher and a slim, good looking brown haired woman stood off to the side. All of them were attractive in many ways, but what drew Revy and Bao's attention was that all of them except Garcia wore maid uniforms.

"FOUR OF THEM?!" poor Bao sounded like he was going to have hysterics.

"This could get interesting," Revy admitted as she drew her second pistol and put on a brave face. If these girls were even close to Roberta's level of skill, she was in deep, deep trouble.

"Miss Rebecca! Are you in there?" Fabiola's voice boomed.

"I knew it was your fault!" Bao yelped.

"Shut up," Revy ordered as she got up smoothly, keeping her guns at her side. So far the women had just destroyed property, not people. Still, she was going to be ready to act if she needed to as she called out, "Yeah, what do you want?"

Fabiola's long skirt flowed around her legs as she declared, "Rebecca, you were the one opponent our former Head Matron spoke of with respect."

"I'm touched," Revy muttered.

"Therefore, we consider you the only person worthy to lead us!" Fabiola finished. As Bao and Revy gaped at her in horror she finished, "Will you join us?"

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" Revy yelled back.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"I'm really sorry about this, Mr. Rock," Garcia said mildly as the blond haired boy sat with Rock, Dutch and Benny while Revy and Fabiola were off fighting in the street.

"I wouldn't think Revy would be someone you wanted to recruit as a maid," Rock offered his opinion mildly.

"It really wasn't my idea," Garcia sighed. "Fabiola was telling the others about what happened here and they got the idea in their heads to scout Revy and, well...." Garcia shrugged helplessly.

"Off they went and you were left running to catch up," Benny guessed as Garcia nodded.

"Any of you wanna put money down on who wins?" Dutch asked as he watch the fight. It looked to be growing as nearly apocolypic as the first Revy/Roberta fight, the other maids cheering them on.

"Sorry," Garcia shook his head, "it wouldn't be fitting."

"Besides, this is important to Fabiola," Rock added as the black haired man studied the viscious brawl thoughtfully. "Fabiola is proving she can face Revy."

"Very perceptive," Garcia nodded. "Not that she has anything to prove to the other maids, but she might feel she needs to...."

"You pipsqueak little," Revy growled as Fabiola head butted her, sending her staggering backwards. "Why won't you drop?!"

"You first," Fabiola growled as she raced forward.

"In fact, there was something I wanted to suggest if Revy turned us down," Garcia admitted.

"Oh?" Benny looked curious.

"Rock," Garcia looked at him with a smile, "would you be interested in becoming head butler?"

"WHAT?!" Revy yelled, looking over in shock long enough for one of Fabiola's kicks to land, sending her sprawling unconscious.

"Damn," Fabiola cursed softly, "distracted. Someone wake her up and we'll start over."

"I'm very complimented," Rock offered, "but I'm happy here."

"I understand," Garcia sighed. "Maybe I'll talk to that Vespa hiring agency...."

End.

Notes: While we don't yet know how the second Roberta story 'El Baile de la Muerte' will end, things are not looking good for Roberta. So this is written from the cynical POV that she will not make it out alive. However I could be wrong... This is otherwise NOT canon and shouldn't be taken too seriously. The 'Vespa' agency Garcia mentioned is from the anime Mahororomantic, whom provided a character with a badass android maid. I'm tempted to write a crossover, one day.


End file.
